


My Brownie Suits Me Fine

by Quaxo



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Gen, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quaxo/pseuds/Quaxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Guys...I feel funny." Tony's words are soft and high-pitched as he lays slumped over the couch, torso dipping towards the floor.</p>
<p>"Bad funny or good funny," Steve asks, pressing his foot against Tony's shoulder to roll him back onto the couch.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thor and Steve get Tony stoned out of his gourd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Brownie Suits Me Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the Ultimates verse, but all you really need to know that EVERYONE'S an asshole (everyone) and that I went with the Orson Scott Card version of Tony's origins where his whole body is his brain, which means his whole body is essentially huge exposed nerve and it causes him chronic pain which he drinks to numb. That's about all that comes up. 
> 
> Title comes from the song of the same name from the musical Reefer Madness

"Guys...I feel funny." Tony's words are soft and high-pitched as he lays slumped over the couch, torso dipping towards the floor.

"Bad funny or good funny," Steve asks, pressing his foot against Tony's shoulder to roll him back onto the couch.

"I think... good funny," A short burst of hysterical giggles. "...Good funny...what's in these brow-ow-niees?"

"Secret family recipe," Thor replies, taking another brownie off the plate on the coffee table.

"Reeeaaalllyy...really, really?"

"Really," Thor rumbles, giving Steve an amused look out of the corner of his eye. "Everything in them is completely natural."

"Oh good."

Steve smirks. Normally he would be completely against drugging a team without their knowledge, but it was necessary and besides Tony was shaping up slightly less annoying when he was stoned than when he was drunk. Besides it was just a little Mary Jane, even if Thor's Mary Jane seemed a lot more powerful than he remembered it being.

When Tony had confessed during a mission that he drank to cope with the chronic pain of his body being his brain, amongst other things (well, more of shouted angrily at Steve after Steve tore him a new one for showing up completely blitzed to another emergency), he'd wondered why Tony hadn't thought of this solution earlier. Steve had smoked a bit of the reefer back in the day for his gimp leg -- it sure was cheaper than any prescription that a doctor could give him. He'd even asked, but Tony had said that he hadn't ever really gotten a high off of it, and besides it was illegal. Then he'd made some comment about Captain America being half-baked instead of half-frozen and Steve had walked away before he'd be forced to hurt Tony.

Everyone had thought that the future would be better back in his time -- but a future where people got arrested and sent to jail (sometimes for life) over a little marijuana hardly seemed like a utopia to Steve. 

Tony was becoming quite intolerable drunk (and if he hadn't gotten even a high off of Mary Jane then it was probably some parsley that he'd smoked) so Steve had decided run a little experiment... for Tony's benefit of course. Nothing about seeing the high-hatting son of a bitch on his ass for once.

The first problem had been acquiring the marijuana -- obviously he couldn't go out and procure it himself because even if he knew where to get it now, he was pretty sure that Fury would have kittens about it if he knew. He and Jan weren't speaking, and besides that would bring all sorts of awkward questions even if they were.

Thor looked like he might know where to score some weed, however.

"Steve, I am surprised that you...," Thor had said, looking at Steve suspiciously for a moment.

"Its just a herb," Steve grumbled, "And its not for me, its for Tony."

"Ah... perhaps I can interest you in a secret family blend," Thor had laughed, reaching into some hidden pocket and flashed a little packet of green leaves labeled 'Hammer of Thor'.

Fortunately Thor had decided to join in on the fun and do the actual cooking -- because Steve was rotten at it, and besides it'd be a shame to waste such potent stuff on some tough overcooked brownies. 

"You have such nice knees, Steve...Steve knees"

Steve glances down to Tony, who has somehow managed move off the couch to cling like a limpet to Steve's legs, staring at them with the same obsessive focus that he gave his armor.

He looks to Thor for a little assistance, but Thor, the bastard, is already up and halfway across the room and waving goodbye.

"...steveknees..."

Scratch what he thought earlier, Tony was definitely just as annoying stoned as he was plastered. 

Steve grabs a brownie off the tray and shoves it in his mouth as Tony's hand wanders up higher on his thigh -- he's going to need it if he's going to have to put up with this.


End file.
